The Sales Assistant Who Taught Me Everything About Donor Relationships
By Hazel Seow | 16.06.2026
I almost bought a bag I didn't love.
I walked into a store with one bag in mind. Saw it online. Loved it. But in person it fell flat. Then another bag caught my eye. Beautiful design. Wrong colour. I hesitated. Picked it up. Put it down. Picked it up again.
The sales assistant could have stayed quiet. She could have let me convince myself. Instead she said: "If your preferred colour isn't available, you can pre-order. But don't buy a colour you don't like just because you love the design."
She knew I was travelling. Pre-order wasn't an option for me. She didn't push. She didn't persuade. She simply guided me through the other bags in the store, showing me what she thought I might genuinely like.
I walked out with a bag I loved. And a deep respect for how she sold. That moment reminded me of something true about donor relationships.
The best fundraisers don't chase the gift. They don't push or pressure. They listen, guide, and respect the donor's decision, even if it means walking away from a transaction.
And the same is true in philanthropy advisory. The families I work with don't need someone to tell them where to give or how much. They need someone who listens carefully, understands what matters most to them, and guides them toward a giving strategy they genuinely believe in.
A donor who feels respected will come back. A donor who feels pressured rarely does.
Relationship first. Always.
An edited version of this piece was originally published on LinkedIn.
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